Oneitis, Can it be Cured? Part II
You may have read my other article on oneitis as well, but I’ve seen a lot of questions online about this notion of how to get over your crush so I thought a more in depth article was in order.
Let’s talk about your oneitis and how to get rid of a crush.
The reality is that if you’re stuck on a single girl at school, or at work or a long term friend then it’s likely you will need to completely overhaul your dating life in order to:
- Get over this specific girl
- Make sure you aren’t getting stuck on a crush ever again.
What do we want to achieve here?
Imagine being able to appreciate the beauty of a girl and really enjoy her presence… without needing to date her.
Or imagine asking her out on a date, and being ok with yourself if it doesn’t work out between you two. I’m not talking about being indifferent and not caring what happens. I’m talking about the next level of seduction, which is learning how to want someone and pursue them but be just fine without getting the girl.
This is not what hollywood and our society teaches us. You’re supposed to pine for her day in and day out. And maybe one day, she’ll see how much you care and be so impressed she starts to feel the same way.
This is not how dating, love, or attraction works in the modern world though. If that’s in the least bit surprising to you, you need to read The Rational Male before going any further with the content on this site.
Getting Rid Of Neediness Once and For All
How do we do this? How is it possible to be really into a girl, and at the SAME TIME be totally ok with it not working out?
By creating abundance in your dating life, and by falling in love with the journey of meeting women. We’ll break this down and discuss each concept separately.
The real reason you are so stuck on her is not because she’s so incredible. It’s because you don’t have any other options and maybe don’t even know that many other smart and beautiful girls.
This is the plight of the average guy. You go from not being in a relationship (and not having sex casually) to being in a monogamous relationship (and sometimes having sex). The back again after that relationship ends.
If your dating life follows this kind of cycle then you NEVER have many options when it comes to girls, dating and sex. This means you are in a constant state of scarcity, making the girls that do come into your life seem much more important than they should be.
Learning seduction and “pick up” is the manosphere’s response to this dynamic. Essentially you need to improve your dating skills and likely your lifestyle in order to create a life where there are always multiple women interested in you at any given time.
This creates abundance on multiple levels. Not just the fact that logistically you have more options, but it also affects how you act with any one given girl (and new ones you meet).
This is a huge hidden benefit from dating multiple women. The way it permeates through your personality and can be seen in ALL of your dating experiences.
The Road To Abundance
Your journey to his level of abundance in your dating life is going to vary drastically depending on your previous experience, current abilities, style etc.
It’s certainly not an easy path to walk on your own (join our brotherhood free below), but it can be done with enough persistence.
If you are brand new to all of this, check out my comprehensive introduction to meeting girls series of posts. For more advanced guys, there is plenty of content on here geared specifically to you. Jump on the mailing list to receive all of the advanced content on dating, travel, managing relationships, investing and more.
Until next time.
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