Why the ‘How To’ Industry is Ruining Your Dating Potential

Published by Bryce Foster on

 

We’re always searching for better tactics.  

 

In today’s world you have an infinite amount of information available at your fingertips, so when faced with a problem the obvious course of action is to search for ways to resolve it.

 

When I was in highschool a spent 50 bucks on a (now notorious) PDF called ‘Double Your Dating’.  I wasn’t a virgin or a ‘hopeless’ case, I had girlfriends that were all cool and pretty cute. 

 

But I had never dated a truly hot girl.  And I wanted to badly. 

 

So where do you turn to learn how to date insanely gorgeous women?  The internet of course! And it only took a little digging to find the now well known seduction and dating community.  

 

A veritable treasure troth of ‘how to’ style information on meeting, talking to girls, getting phone numbers, being ‘cool’.  

 

This is usually the part of the article where guys denounce the sleazy and often manipulative pickup artist stuff.  And I would too, except that it works.

 

By that, I mean all the tactics and lines do get you the intended result.  They trigger a response form the girl, they spike her interest, make you seem aloof etc. 

 

But if you’ve been out there authentically trying to meet women and you apply this stuff then you know at some point the wheels fall off the cart.  Maybe you hookup, or go out or whatever.  But I guarantee you that a month down the line that girl doesn’t crave your presence.  She doesn’t pronounce her loyalty to you no matter what. 

 

So how do you get the girls you want, and get them hooked on YOU as a man?  Isn’t that really what we’re after here?  Not just to hookup with an occasional hottie, but to have a stunner that wants to fight for you, and begs for the opportunity  to get on her knees and please you?

 

Call me crazy, but that’s what I’ve been pursuing (and more recently achieving) for years.  And one thing I’ve learned 1000 times over is that all the tactics in the world won’t make it happen for you. 

 

You have to go to the root of seduction if you want to have such a powerful and immediate impact on the women you’re dating.  

 

You have to be completely non-needy.

 

Most of what we do with ‘game’ and anything in the pua world is trying to simulate non-neediness.  All the lines,  routines, texting guides and persona coaching are all designed to make a girl THINK you don’t need her.

 

She wants a man she perceives as slightly out of her league.

 

So we try out all these theories and techniques we read online and learn from coaches to make it SEEM like we don’t need her.  That we have a ton of other girls just as good as her waiting for their turn. 

 

This is why the techniques eventually cease to have their effect.  Because after so long, she will start to get to know the real you.  And if the real you is a needy guy with low confidence, she’ll eventually lose interest and drift away.  

 

Your focus in the seduction world should be on becoming the type of man who isn’t needy.  Everything else will take care of itself. 

 

Not convinced yet?   Lets look at ‘naturals’  aka guys that always got girls before game was a thing.  We can and have broken down what they do and make methods/systems ideas based out of their dynamics with women.

 

ake a closer look at the guy who naturally pulls amazing girls.  Does he treat any of them like the most important girl he HAS to have?  I donut it.  He more than likely teases them relentlessly,  dismisses average looking girls and forgets to text them. 

 

This is where you need to get to.  Except for the being a dick part, you can actually still be a nice guy and pull stunning girls. 

 

Here’s another thought experiment in the texting world.

 

What to text her?  Imagine for a second you had a rotation of 5 PERFECT girls (whatever your 10 is)  that all wanted to see you every day with no drama and no obligations.   All they want to do is come over and blow you and cook for you.  Ahhh yes.

 

How would you text that girl you met on the street today if you had those other girls waiting for you later that night?  More importantly, how DIFFERENT would you act when you met her in the first place…

 

You’d ask for her number, but would you care if she was hesitant to give it to you?  Would your mind churn 100 miles a minute thinking of shit test handling techniques?  I think not my friends. 

 

The rich get richer my friends. 

 

I’m not discounting game and the seduction community.  To study these interactions and learn social dynamics is paramount to improving.   You need to be able to successfully meet women on the street and date them.  

 

Just keep in mind where we are headed gentlemen. 

 

The ultimate goal is not to master all this technique and knowledge,  it’s to ultimately PUT IT ALL OUT OF YOUR MIND after you’ve achieved a level of abundance where you are non-needy. 

 

From there the girls just flow.  

 

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