How to Handle Feminine Girlfriends: When Sh*t Goes Off The Rails

Published by Bryce Foster on

Today I want to talk about a phenomenon all men dating incredibly feminine women have had to deal with over and over again.

 

Imagine it’s the 2nd to last day of an incredible vacation you took to the Carribean.  Two straight weeks of snorkeling,  laying on the beach, watching her get dressed up all sexy for delicious dinners, sex in every part of your hotel suite and each night topped off with some champagne in the tub…

 

Ahh this is the kind of trip I LIVE for.  It’s what makes all the ego shattering turmoil of approaching and seducing women worth while.  

 

Because after a certain amount of rejections and lousy dates you’ll meet a smart girl with a perfect body and intoxicating smile.  

 

But back to reality.  It’s the close of an INSANELY great experience you two shared…

 

… and she’s absolutely furious with you back in the hotel room.

 

Sound familiar?

 

This used to drive me absolutely insane.  It’s like a feeling of despair that just creeps up inside of you slowly but surely.

 

All that good energy, vibes (and likely your money)  becomes completely irrelevant because in this moment you’re a inconsiderate jerk.

 

I’m not even going to bother making up a reason for our little story.  

 

We all know the reason is immaterial.  The point I’m making here is that even if you play things perfectly, it will all go off the rails at some point and she’ll spend a period of time pissed at you (or crying etc.).

 

This is our concept today.  Can we avoid these meltdowns and low points where all the amazing shit we did for our girl gets wiped off the scoreboard?

 

Guys are logical, when we care about someone we usually either just say so,  or do things to demonstrate we care.  Like going out of your way to call and text her, buying her dinner, presents, trips etc.  

 

What you’ve probably realized even if you’ve given a LOT of things to a girlfriend, is that when she’s pissed at you, everything you’ve done in the past goes out the window.

 

She’s still mad and upset, even if you just spent an incredible week together traveling around thailand, bought her amazing dinners and took time off to be with her. 

 

 In the moment, she doesn’t care at all about the past, and she’s upset for whatever the reason.

 

This is pretty brain-breaking when you first come across it.

 

Women need this steady level  of re-assurance true, but no matter what you do she will inevitably rage against you (or make comments or be bratty). The reason she’s doing this is not because you fucked up, it’s because she feels bad or insecure on HER side. 

 

You literally have no control over this, even if you do everything right. There will come times when she’s just emotional and you’re there to become the object of whatever is bothering her internally.

 

Guys are focused on doing things PREVENT this form happening.  Communicating, being attentive to her needs, making sure she has fun etc. etc.  We are trying hard to please these girls because we care about them, love them dearly.  

 

But we need to accept the truth.

 

No matter what you do she will be upset internally and thus upset with you a percentage of the time.

 

For ‘nice’ guys or more empathetics guys this is a serious challenge to get over.  It certainly has been for me.  The way to do it is simply to practice weathering the storm and not reacting to her emotional state.

 

At first it may seem like you simply don’t care and aren’t being attentive to her needs.  She’s upset NOW! So modern society dictates that you should be responding to that like the good caring man you are.

 

Wrong.  Let me tell you why.

 

In a relationship with a very feminine woman, it’s not your job to be her emotional backstop or source of validation when she’s feeling down.  

 

It’s your job to give her what she really needs.  To hold space for her to feel a wide range of emotions (sadness and rage included)  while calmly keeping the relationship moving in accordance with your plan.

 

This translates to understanding that she’s going to have times where she’s pissed, or feels ugly, or is depressed for whatever reason.  When you understand that it’s not on you to FIX her state, you can proceed to give her the structure and direction she actually is craving.

 

These women don’t want you to come running and tell them they’re beautiful over and over again.  What they want is for you to be a man and keep her safe while she runs her emotional marathon.  Hold the space for her, and move things along in a non-reactive way. 

 

She’ll always get over it.  That’s the point in fact.  

 

So next time your girlfriend has a meltdown or is raging, be the masculine man she needs.  Weather the storm, internalize that it’s not on you to fix her, and keep moving forward. 

 

PS

If you guys have any good stories like this, hit me up I’d love to hear them.

 

Bryce 

 

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