How to Design Your Dream Life (and actually make it happen)
You wake up on a yacht, surrounded by beautiful women.
Somewhere, soft music is playing.
You smell bacon – one of your girlfriends is an amazing cook, and it looks like she’s at it again.
You roll over to cuddle with your other girlfriends until breakfast is ready.
Or maybe that’s not your style at all.
Maybe you just want to never have to worry about BS, soul crushing work again.
You want to live a bohemian lifestyle, sipping coffee in cafes all day while only doing work that fulfills your deepest goals.
Either way (or whatever your dream lifestyle is)…
You can have it for MUCH cheaper and MUCH more quickly than you might think.
Why Do Most People Come Up Short in Life?
Here’s something that might surprise you.
Most unhappy people have virtually zero idea of what their ideal life would look like.
Even the ones that spend their days daydreaming of ‘something better’ really have no clue when you ask them specifics.
And of the tiny percentage that do have some semblance of an idea, barely any can tell you:
- How much it would cost them to live that life
- What steps they should take to get there.
Today we’re going to continue the theme of lifestyle articles and plan out our ideal lives. Sound daunting?
This is not a new concept, in fact it’s been covered at LENGTH by far better writers/marketers than I.
Ramit Sethi (king of the email list) calls it ‘defining your rich life’
Tim Ferris (4 hour work week, digital nomad revolutionary) calls it ‘Dreamling’
If you haven’t read their books, you should. I’ll publish some rants on both of them (good and the terrible) soon enough.
The most common way to start your lifestyle planning is to sit down with pencil and paper and start envisioning your ‘perfect day’
The more detailed you are here the better. Focus on the W’s and step through your day.
Where are you when you wake up? Who’s next to you?
What is your morning routine? What kind of coffee do you make?
Try and focus on sensations and experiences as well. Try and really experience the smell of your fine Colombian roast, and the perfume of the fine Colombian that’s still snoozing on your pillow.
Once you’ve written a whole bunch of highly detailed dreams to get your imagination salivating it’s time to take a more structured look at each of our self reliant categories and start breaking up those desired ‘experiences’ into tangible things you’ll need to buy/go/do in order to have them.
The ‘perfect cup of colombian roast’ means you probably live in an area with amazing coffee culture (or in colombia), it also probably means that you have yourself a fancy coffee machine like my beloved Jura
So now you can break those things into costs and put them on your list (or spreadsheet).
Categories of Lifestyle Planning
My major categories are the following.
- Daily pleasures (the little things)
- Location/Accommodation (how and where am I living)
- Stuff (toys and toys)
- Adventures (trips I want to take, big expensive things I want to do)
- Businesses and Investments
Notice how I left our ‘Money’ or ‘how much I want to earn’.
The reason we don’t start with “I want to make X amount each year” is because you have no basis for the number you pull out. Completing this exercise should provide you an EXACT number to target so that you aren’t perpetually chasing more.
This is key, so I’m going to say it again. It’s important that you take the time to find the exact amount of money your dreams would take to achieve.
Getting Creative: Finding the ‘Essence’ of What You Want
This is an interesting concept.
Most people tend to pick things that are too expensive for what they actually desire. By that I don’t mean the actual ‘cost’ of the thing, but that you could satisfy your desires with far less.
Let’s say when you envision an amazing day in your new life, you picture yourself on a super yacht with 20 russian models in bikinis.
Right on, I say go for it! But this does NOT mean you have to put a 50 million dollar yacht on your lifestyle costs spreadsheet.
This is where you can get creative, and drill down into exactly WHAT you want out of the experience.
The way you can do it is by asking yourself ‘why do i actually want this?’ over and over gain while you drill down to your core desire.
If you do this, you may find that your fantasy isn’t what it originally appeared to be.
Using the boat example above let’s drill it down as an exercise.
“Why do I want this experience of being on a yacht with all these girls?”
- I want to spend my holidays hanging out with beautiful women
- I want to be seen with and hookup with them
- I also love the idea of being on a luxury boat for my vacation
- I love the sea, and being on the water, plus it seems like the thing that all ‘rich’ people do.
So now we’ve identified a little further why we have this fantasy. And the answers aren’t surprising, we like boats and girls thus Yacht with Models.
Now we get to ask the fun question. How can you have this experience this year without needing a complete life overhaul and 100 million dollar net worth?
Look, some people may really want this boat and models and won’t be satisfied until they get it. But I contend that the vast majority of people with this fantasy just want to date models and take epic luxury vacations on the water.
If the latter sound smore like you, then we go to work and figure out how to have this experience.
- Locate somewhere cheap
- Get access to the kind of girls you want to be on a trip with
- Rent a luxury yacht with some buddies for a week.
I actually know guys that do this exact thing, and it costs them between $10,000 – $15,000 each per trip.
Sounds a little bit more attainable than buying a 50 million dollar yacht now doesnt it?
Again, i’m not trying to discourage people that really want to own the super yacht. Maybe you’re a real boat person and have loved them all your life. Go for it then.
The rest of us can buy the experience for under $20,000 and live our fantasy within the next 12 months. Pretty cool right?
You Can’t Buy Love: Breaking Down the ‘Priceless’ Desires
You’ve probably come across a few things on your list that money can’t buy.
Like being a great dancer, or the love of a beautiful women (or 5 women)
We have to break these desires down a little bit further into actionable skills that we can then acquire.
Things like dancing or playing the guitar are easy, you just buy lessons.
But how about getting a girlfriend? Or building a beautiful relationship with your parents? Or raising a child?
I wrote a separate article about ‘what it takes to get the girl of your dreams’ that helps you break things down further, but generally improving your relationships and achieving your goals in that department come down to a few things.
- Healing any past traumas or issues around intimacy
- Giving yourself time for introspection and evaluation of your life relationships
- Speaking with a therapist
- Reading books and joining groups to promote healthy feelings around relationships
- Becoming an attractive man with purpose
- Physical things ( Your Fitness, personal fashion style etc.)
- Your purpose (your work/passions)
- Soft skills (how to meet and seduce gorgeous girls)
- Relationship and communication skills
- Sex skills
- Seduction skills
- Where you live (this is a huge factor in meeting the right woman)
Devising Your Strategy
So now that you’ve done your exercise and written a fairly comprehensive list, you should have a list of ‘expenses’ and a list of things that are ‘priceless’ (like your relationships etc.) with detailed breakdowns into actionable purchases.
Now comes the hard part.
How do we reconstruct our lifestyle (if necessary) and how do we earn enough?
This is often the easiest and cheapest to change. Does your ideal life find you on the beaches of Brazil? Or at fashion shows in Manhattan? If you have some degree of lifestyle freedom already (location), then it’s a no brainer to put yourself in the place(s) you ultimately want to be.
Even if you haven’t sorted out everything else, just getting yourself to a city or country you love is a HUGE start.
If you don’t have the ability to pick up and move where you’d like, then we’ll have to do a little bit more work to increase your levels of freedom. I have some content on this (but not nearly enough yet). Email me for more resources if this is you.
Money is where the rubber meets the road in lifestyle planning. If your ideal lifestyle costs a million a year, and you teach english online for $15 an hour… it’s not going to cut it.
But dont’ despair, obviously our current situation isn’t meeting these financial needs or you wouldn’t be here in the first place.
What matters much is if your current trajectory has the potential to hit your target amount. If you’re swimming in a big enough pond so to speak.
Take a realistic look at your current business or job. If you’re a software developer (I am), working as a freelancer, you’ll NEVER make the 750k/year I need to hit my goals.
Thus, I need another vehicle that has the potential to grow to that. Which is why my main business isn’t software development for hire, but instead a boutique consultancy in the medical device industry (regulatory).
Now THAT is a big pond, and a successful venture in that industry has the potential to make me easily 7 figures.
It’s also important that you be realistic in your projections. Yes your blog on baseball cards COULD make millions, but what are the real probabilities here.
And i’m not saying squash your passions and strangle your dreams if they dont’ have big earning potential.
But I am saying alongside those passion projects, you need to put yourself in a rocketship that has the best chance of meeting your income goals.
This is too dense of a topic to cover here in one go, so I want you to take this week and draw up your ideal lifestyle on paper. Then price it out in Excel and email me.
Next week we’ll talk hard core money making strategy.
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