How Do I Single Out a Girl When She’s in a Group?

Published by Bryce Foster on

Here’s a quick comment I wrote to a guy on a seduction reddit.  He was asking essentially ‘how do i get that one girl if she’s with a group of friends?’
No fluff here, let’s get right into it.  Here’s what I said:
Engaging groups of girls is AMAZING for your game. At night it pumps you up and is excellent practice for being a captivating storyteller.
The comments about ‘well it’s not that likely to pull from a group set’ i say meh to. If you’re out at night not EVERY GIRL you talk to should be for the explicit purpose of taking home and hooking up with.
Groups do a few things , 1. they pump up your state (it feels great to be joking/laughing with a bunch of girls) 2. they up your social proof in the environment (other girls will notice you talking to a big group of girls).
These two reasons alone are good enough to get me approaching groups.
Now, for your specific question of ‘how do i single out a girl i like?’ The formula is pretty simple.
  1. Open the group (groups of girls rarely like if one of their friends gets sniper approached). The caveat to this is when you open a girl whos kinda by her friends. You can do this, but make sure to be aware of the friends and bring them into the conversation asap if needed.
2. You single out the girl you like by making a basic observation, teasing cold read about her.
So you’ve started a friendly group convo, then got personal with the one you like. The key is doing this in a way that seems like ‘shes caught your eye’ for a brief moment.
If she’s got good style, you can comment on her fashion (helps if you know a little something about clothes), if she’s super smiley you can say “wow, what’s got you so happy tonight?’ etc. etc.
The group dynamics PUA stuff isn’t great here, it’s all routine and while it may entertain a girl for a few seconds, you’ll do much better learning how to be a fun/social guy that’s just having a chat getting to know some sexy strangers.
That’s pretty much it. If your girl goes quiet and isn’t the main one piping up and talking (likely the ones that respond to you first when address a group are the most interested), then you can always say this:
(to her friend, and in a playful fun manner)
“I’m interested in your friend, what’s her deal? ” What’s the most interesting thing about her? Variations on the former etc.
This generally give the ‘friend’ an easy way to wingman for her girl (your target girl), and if the friend approves of you she’ll gush on about osmething cool/unique. From there its beyond easy to ask about that unique/interesting thing and bam now you’re in a more intimate conversation.
A few notes on group dynamics…
  1. You need to calibrate to the group and keep people engaged as necessary. This is the hardest one, sometimes (when a girl likes you and has already told your friends) the group will literally just disappear once you’ve started talking to the girl you like. This is the best possible scenario (and does happen if you’re a decent looking dude)
2. Merge groups whenever possible. This can be bringing in your wings, or if your game is tight (and you have been meeting other groups casually) introducing two groups of girls together. The more you mix it up and get people moving around, the better chances you have of peeling off the girl you like to dance/have some deeper conversation etc.
3. Remember, direct approaching a single girl in a group can work. I encourage you to try it (especially if she’s eyeing you across the bar). However the high percentage move (that improves your night and overall chances of getting laid) is to address the group and be a normal social (and confident) guy.

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