How Do I Stop Being the Nice Guy Girls Save for Friendship and Marriage?
Most of my Dates have Ended With “You’re such a nice guy… let’s be friends”
Here’s a common question on reddit and here is my answer:
There are some good comments here but i’ll add my .02 as I REALLY struggled with this.
It boils down to how accommodating your are of her feelings/mood/state.
That’s it man. It’s the ‘criteria’ that women subconsciously use to put guys into the ‘reliable’ box and ‘fun’ box.
Nice guys and boyfriends care deeply about what their lady is feeling and want to accommodate her. The bartender with tattoos she bangs does not really care about changing his behavior so she is more comfortable/happy/satisfied etc.
This is where most guys jump to the conclusion that they must be a narcissistic asshole in order to show that they aren’t going to play into a girl’s script. Not so my friend.
You don’t need to ‘play at masculinity’, or fake a cocky vibe. You simply need to figure out what the hell you want out of life (and your experiences with women), and uncompromisingly go for that.
Masculine energy is direction. It’s moving towards what you want without a ton of regard to opposition. Now of course there are exceptions (you can’t steal, sexually assault etc. don’t cancel me just yet!), but make your intentions known and don’t waiver from them if you get a bad response from the girl.
The nice guy takes her out for a drink, makes sure to avoid confrontation in the conversation, and then hopes to escalate things later on. The dude you want to be, can still take her out, but he’s going to grin at her and cheekily suggest that you two skip the fake pleasantries and just go back to your place.
*Note* in the abovce example 98% of girls will technically ‘reject’ a proposition like that. But you better believe the message of which type of guy you are is communicated… and if she just so happens to be looking for that guy, she’ll get turned on.
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